Steal Your Pain
by shadowtakesall
Summary: Cross posted from lj capkink meme. non-con warning. Steve wasn't only being punched in that alley when Bucky found him, he was being brutally raped at knife-point. Bucky had to take him back to his place to clean him up and comfort him.
1. Chapter 1

When Bucky heard the sounds of a struggle with the soft grunts that were undoubtedly Steve's, he gave a slightly annoyed sigh. Steve never listened to his suggestions to try and stay out of trouble and after tonight Bucky wouldn't be here to get him out of it. The uniform he was wearing was spiffy and all but it also served as a reminder that he wouldn't be here to protect Steve for who knows how long. A little voice at the back of his head mentioned that this may even be his last night ever with Steve but he brushed it off.

Right now he was just going to go and get Steve out of whatever mess he was in now so they could head out to meet their dates. Following the sounds to the alley behind the movie theater, he walked towards the end, preparing for whatever fight the guy may give. They were more in his sight now and he just had to... he stopped in his tracks. This wasn't another of Steve's fights.  
Steve was pinned to the ground, pants at his ankles, being thrust into by his attacker, a pocket knife held to his throat. Sounds of protest slipped out of his mouth and he repeatedly tried to push the guy off him but he had him held tight.

Bucky barely registered whatever mocking words the guy threw at Steve as he climaxed inside him. Bucky's mind was overcome by a red haze as a pitiful whimper escaped Steve's mouth as his attacker pulled out and roughly pushed him to the ground with a cruel laugh which was abruptly cut off when Bucky grabbed him with an angry growl and threw him at the wall.

"Get off on hurting people smaller than you, huh?" he shouted, punching the other man in the jaw, sending him sprawling on his back on the ground, knife slipping out of his grasp. Bucky dropped down on top of him and pinned him down as he threw more punches, yelling and cursing in between each blow. He grabbed the fallen knife and pressed it to the man's neck, pressing hard enough to draw a thin trail of blood, mixing with the flow coming from the man's nose.  
"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." he snarled. He would end up locked up for a long time if he did this and was found out but right now it seemed well worth it.

He was only stopped from slicing the blade through the bastard's throat by the weak call of his name from Steve. It was enough to make him completely forget about what he wanted to do to the man he had pinned down and he immediately left him to rush to his friend's side. Steve had pulled his pants back up but was obviously very battered up and wounded despite trying to hide the pain he was in. Bucky heard the attacker get up and scurry out of the alley but right now he had to focus on Steve.


	2. Chapter 2

"Steve!" Bucky knelt down beside him as Steve pushed himself up to a sitting position with a badly concealed wince. "Are you o..." He stopped himself with a small wince of his own. Of course Steve wasn't ok.

"I'm fine." Steve replied gruffly, standing up. As soon as he reached full height, however, he dropped back down to his knees with a hiss of pain.

Bucky blinked away a sudden stinging sensation in his eyes and reached out to Steve. "No, you're not." he said quietly. "You need help, Steve."

"I'm fine." Steve bit out again, pulling away from him and slowly standing back up. He succeeded in staying upright this time, keeping a straight face but his eyes gave away his pain. He started to walk to exit the alley but stopped quickly with a pained sound.

"Steve..." Bucky approached him again. "You can barely walk, just let me help you to get to my place." Bucky was sure Steve would do better going to a hospital but that wasn't an option. He'd probably go from hospital room to jail cell. He would have to sort this out himself.

Steve hesitated, but with a defeated sigh, nodded slightly. "Fine."

Bucky stepped up beside Steve and wrapped an arm around his waist as gently as he could while still supporting a good deal of Steve's weight. Which, really, wasn't that hard even in better circumstances. The two set off slowly out of the alley to Bucky's apartment, both completely silent the whole way, other than occasional sounds of pain from Steve which he was obviously trying to hide.

After a less than easy climb up the stairs, they finally entered the apartment and Steve stepped out of Bucky's grasp but otherwise made no move. Bucky was at a loss himself, mind working desperately to fix this. What the heck was he supposed to _do_?

Steve was the first to speak up. "I need a shower." he stated simply, heading to the bathroom and shutting the door behind him without a word.

Bucky stared at the closed door, speechless, but decided to leave Steve be for the moment. If he suddenly fell again, he would be able to hear it. So he walked away from the door and went to work gathering a pillow and blankets for the couch, which he intended to take himself and put Steve in the bedroom. Steve would probably insist on going home but Bucky was definitely not letting that happen.

As the sound of running water came from the bathroom, he searched around for any first aid kits or medicine or _something_ that could help Steve, wondering if the only supplies were in the medicine cabinet in the room that was currently occupied.

If the muffled sounds of forced back crying mixed in with the spray of the shower, he pretended not to hear.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky's search proved pointless as apparently, yes, what little medical supplies he had must be in the bathroom. He sighed in exasperation, went back to the bedroom, throwing his uniform hat in the general direction of the dresser before also removing the jacket and tie, tossing them carelessly aside.

He still had close to no idea what to do now. He would try and tend to any minor wounds Steve had, but what happened after that? After Steve's other fights, Bucky would usually help patch him up, half-jokingly scolding him for not knowing when to back down or run, and the two would go on like nothing happened.

This time was nothing like those other times.

Bucky could already tell this would have a long-term, if not permanent, impact on Steve, however much Steve had tried to hide it. And whatever impacted Steve, impacted Bucky.

He opened a dresser drawer and unbuttoned the top few buttons on his shirt as he searched for something for Steve to wear. All of his pants were too big for Steve. He knew Steve wouldn't go without them though, so he grabbed the smallest pair of pajama bottoms he could find and a plain undershirt, then walked back out to the living area.

He noticed the sound of the running water from the shower had stopped and walked up to the closed bathroom door.

"Steve?" he called with slight hesitation.

Bucky's stomach dropped as the seconds ticked by in dead silence before a quiet voice answered him. "Yeah?"

He silently breathed a sigh of relief. "I brought some clothes for you. They'll be big on you but..." he drifted off uncomfortably.

More seconds passed...

The door opened just enough for Steve to take the clothes from Bucky with a quiet 'thanks' before closing again.

At a loss for anything else to do, Bucky remained standing there until the door opened again as Steve exited the bathroom, change of clothes hanging loose on his small frame but remaining on him at least.

Bucky frowned as he took in the sight of Steve's reddened skin, wondering how hard his friend had scrubbed himself.

"Go sit on the couch." Bucky went into the bathroom as Steve followed his order and gingerly sat himself down. Bucky grabbed the little kit he had put together himself for whenever Steve got into another fight and went to join Steve on the couch to patch him up, just like every other time.

The two were silent as Bucky worked, Steve's eyes downcast.

This was nothing like the other times.


	4. Chapter 4

Scrapes and newly forming bruises were loosely scattered on Steve's visible skin. His arms were the most beat up that Bucky could see, probably from trying to crawl away from his attacker. He was sure there were probably more small wounds hidden by the borrowed clothes but doubted that Steve would let even him try to take care of them or see them at all.

When Bucky had finished patching Steve up as best he could, the uncomfortable silence continued, now with nothing to distract either of them from it's weight in the small room.

Surprisingly, it was Steve who broke it, apparently just noticing the blanket and pillow on the couch.

"You planning on making me spend the night on your couch instead of going home?" There was no anger or humor or anything in his voice. Just... nothing, and it was really starting to freak Bucky out.

"No. I'm planning on making you spend the night in my bed instead of going home. I'll be on the couch." Bucky stood from the couch to return the kit to it's place and when he turned back around Steve was also standing up, arms wrapped around himself and head turned the other way.

"Steve?" Bucky approached his friend, placing a hand on Steve's shoulder when the smaller man didn't seem to acknowledge his call. Steve gave a small jump and Bucky wondered if he had even heard him at all. Steve turned his head to face Bucky without really looking at his face, not really looking at him at all, his eyes blinking in a strangely heavy and fast manner. Bucky realized with a tug at his heart that Steve was trying to stop himself from crying. "Stevie..."

The soft call of the childhood pet name, only ever used by Bucky, only ever allowed to be used by Bucky, caused Steve to regain his focus to the present, finally looking up at Bucky.

"I don't get why I'm so badly affected by this." he said quietly, frustration lacing his voice. "I've been beat up in fights lots of times before and it barely slowed me down."

Bucky's hand dropped off Steve's shoulder, a wave of disbelief and some annoyance washing over him. "This isn't the same Steve and you know it!"

Steve flinched slightly at the small outburst, which wasn't loud but was unexpected by both. A hard stab of regret went through Bucky as his raised tone caused Steve to step away startled but other than the initial surprise, Steve didn't seem too affected by it.

Lowering his eyes to the floor with a small sigh, Steve replied in a voice so soft Bucky wouldn't have been able to hear it at all if he wasn't so focused on him. "I don't know what to do Bucky."

A tone of hopelessness and confusion had replaced the nothingness from before. Bucky almost wanted the blankness to come back but his discomfort at this new situation didn't matter at all right now, least of all to him.

What did he say to that though? He didn't know what to do either. Of all the ways to spend his last night... Oh that's right. He was leaving tomorrow. He had completely forgotten about that small detail. He realized with despair that that left Steve to deal with this on his own after tonight.

Steve seemed to be on the same trail of thought and gave a small smile that barely reached his lips let alone his eyes. "You had your uniform on. You leaving tomorrow?"

Bucky stared wordlessly at Steve. An ill friend may be a good enough excuse to try to get some more time here before being sent off. Maybe if he said it was a relative. Would they check? No matter what he'd probably still be a cause of talk if he tried to do that. He chickened out and tried to avoid going to war everyone would say. He knew enough about folks around here to already know that that would be accepted fact for years to come, even when and if he did finally go. Trying to redeem himself because of his cowardice would be the new addition to the story. What a story his perceived life would make. Would he be able to go through life with those gossiping whispers following him?

Yes. For Steve he would go through anything.

"Maybe."


	5. Chapter 5

Steve stared hard at Bucky. "I don't want to hold you back from your duty."

Bucky sighed, refraining from rubbing his hand over his face, worried the gesture would upset Steve more. Steve was so determined to get into the army and perform his 'duty', he would probably never forgive Bucky if he didn't head out tomorrow. No matter how hard Steve tried, Bucky knew he would never get in. He would fight for both of them, he decided. War would probably be easy if he pictured all the enemy soldiers as Steve's attacker.

"I know you don't want me to, but do you _need_ me to is what I wanna know."

Steve answered almost before he had even finished his sentence. "No! I don't, I can..." he trailed off into silence for a few seconds before sighing heavily. "I don't know... Nothing's making sense right now." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and Bucky suddenly noticed how utterly _tired_ Steve looked.

"You should go to bed. It's late and you're tired." Steve started to protest but Bucky had gently grabbed his wrist to lead him into the bedroom before he could form any words.

"I'm not tired." Steve insisted but sat down on the bed, his eyes appearing heavier every moment, betraying his lie.

"Sure you're not." Bucky replied, a hint of his jesting tone creeping back into his voice. "I've only seen your eyes look so tired after that day you spent the _whole day_ painting that wall mural on the west wall for the kids. You almost passed out on it and ruined it, do you remember that?"

Steve laughed, scratching his head in mild embarrassment. "Kind of. To be honest, about the last half hour of that was a bit of a blur."

Bucky snorted softly. "I bet." He watched as Steve laid down, relaxing some but not looking like he was actually planning on sleeping. "G'night Stevie." he turned to leave the room but Steve stopped him.

"Wait. Could you..." Bucky turned back and Steve was looking up at him looking more lost and small than he had ever seen him. "Could you stay with me for just a bit longer?" He had apparently used every ounce of his willpower to ask, there was no way Bucky could refuse.

He smiled kindly and climbed into the bed beside the smaller man. Nothing was said for several minutes, both relaxed and comfortable in the silence, before Steve hesitantly scooted closer to Bucky, who sensed what Steve wanted and gently wrapped his arms around him.

Neither of them slept much that night, silently wishing they had more time to fix this, just a few more moments cuddled to each other for comfort and support.

In the early morning Bucky was the first to wake, Steve still sleeping silently in his arms. He considered waking him up but realized seeing his face and hearing his voice would be a bad idea, make him want to never leave. So he gently moved Steve out of his embrace and quietly dressed.

He stared down at Steve's sleeping form and with only a brief hesitation bent down to place a light kiss on his forehead. "Goodbye Stevie." he whispered before grabbing his things and leaving. He paused outside the apartment door, remembering that this could very well be the last time he would ever go through it. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he continued on his way to do his duty. For Steve.


End file.
